More Than Music : from Dave Tamkin

I was playing my last set of the night at PI’s nightclub in Green Bay, WI with Vinluan and Sansom. I love that place. I felt like I was having a pretty good vocal night and thought the best thing to do was test what I had left by pushing every note. Big mistake. I could feel something pull and completely lost all power to my voice. I looked at the guys and asked them to finish the song. I knew right then, I had to make some changes.
Up to that point, I had made my living playing music. From touring the nation with solo college and club gigs to three hour cover gigs as a duo in the local bars, everything revolved around the next gig. It wasn’t about writing new songs, or hearing a song I wanted to cover, both equally expressive if played from my gut. I had lost the love of playing and writing. The song selection had not changed in years and though my band mates quietly bit the bullet, like me, the shows were paying our bills.
I started writing because I knew no other way to express myself, I was 14. Once I got to college, my focus laid in upcoming frat parties to play at or local coffee houses. I knew at 19 that I wanted to become a well-rounded songwriter, above average guitarist, and proficient singer. Four years later I would quit a marketing job and play up to nine shows a week. The House of Blues in Chicago would have us play happy hour three days a week. Local bars would schedule music for acoustic duos every night of the week and Saturdays would be our full band night.
As the years went on and the miles on my car increased over 46 states, I found that I pushed myself to the point of burning out. At 31, I needed to start over. I was loosing my voice, had not written anything in over a year, and refused to expand the set list with another song I didn’t write. What the hell was I going to do?
“Out of all the places you’ve traveled to, why have you stayed in Chicago?” she said with the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. March 19th, 2008. This was the first conversation I’ve had with her that surpassed the “Nice to see you” phase. I never thought of leaving. First off, my parents, two brothers, and sister are my best friends. I love and appreciate them dearly. Secondly, Vinluan and Sansom are two of the most well rounded musicians I’ve ever played with and I learn from them on a daily basis. Not only musically, but in life and how friends learn to appreciate each other for all their glory and short comings. Not to say I don’t appreciate the other musicians that I’m blessed to play with, but the three of us had the most years and miles traveled under our belts. However, it was time to start over and find the passion that made it possible for me to play and appreciate the 1,000s of shows I had played over the last seven years.
A few years back, I had a gig in Western Colorado. I flew in to Denver and rented a car for a three hour trip through the mountains to get there. I’ve never felt so insignificant in relation to God’s masterful artwork of serene pastures, snow capped mountains, raging rivers, and beautiful weather. The clouds poured in from the horizon to almost grow vertically as to make room for the vast blue sky. I felt that sense of purpose as I did writing songs in my basement bedroom as a kid. I knew my journey would some day lead me back here, I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. 4 years later, the day after my encounter with that beautiful smile, I made a pact to myself that I would move back to the mountains by my 32nd birthday. I needed to be on my own and grow not only as a man but as an artist. I wanted that feeling of independence and freedom to create and write again.
I pulled into Denver, CO on Oct 24th, 2008 at 6am on my 32nd birthday. I have a nice loft in the heart of the city. It over looks… well nothing. I have a parking garage outside my window, but it’s a nice place and for the first time in 32 years, I live alone. I have no TV, and broke out my piano for the first time in years. I have all of my guitars on their stands or hanging on the walls so I can grab one if inspiration kicks me in the head.
I refuse to use my degree from DePaul to get a job. I need odd jobs that will allow me to quit or take time off at the drop of hat pertaining to tours or unexpended gigs. I teach guitar at Castle Rock Music www.castlerockmusic.com four days a week. I also work as a server for two catering companies, and a security guard for local concerts and events. I’m also starting my own internet business that supports local music venues and artists. My bills are paid. I now play for the love of it again. The shows I have coming up in Denver are due to the number of open mics I’ve been playing during the week. I started at the open mics at Durty Nellies in Palatine, IL; I’ll start over doing the same in Denver. I’ll start over doing it my way, with my songs, and with all the inspiration that has been given to me from my family, my band mates, my friends, my listeners and that beautiful smile.
I’m back.

www.davetamkin.com